Introduction: Admitting You Have an Addiction
The hardest part of recovery is taking the first step. That first step is usually coming to the realization that you have a problem or an addiction and that you’d like to do something about it. Sexual addiction is something that plagues many but unfortunately, there is a stigma attached to it. People generally don’t view it as a problem and judge those who seek help. If you know you need help, however, it’s important to get started by seeking resources.
Admitting You Have a Problem
Only you can decide if you have an addiction that you need to break free from. To figure that out, you must evaluate yourself, your hobbies, and your thoughts. Are you someone who has compulsive sexual behavior? Are you constantly thinking of sex and acting upon it in a way that interferes with your personal life and work life? Checking the signs is the very first step in getting help and recovering.
Why is it so Important to Seek Help
It’s important to seek help because sexual addiction can ultimately ruin your life. Once it grasps a hold of your thoughts, it can become all that you think about. This causes a lot of stress on your personal life. It can ruin relationships. Instead of having a healthy sexual relationship with another person, you can become obsessed. You can start to crave behaviors and settings that are no longer healthy and enjoyable. This can push almost anyone away. When you have an addiction, it can impact your work life. Instead of focusing on the tasks at hand, you begin to think of sex and how to get your next fix.
Taking the Next Step Forward
Once you admit you have a problem, it’s time to seek out help. Not everyone can just self-diagnose. You can, however, admit that you do have some sort of problem. A professional will be able to diagnose you by checking certain factors and symptoms that you may have. Once a professional knows what they’re dealing with, they can give you a course of action and treatment. In order to get to that point, however, you need to take the first step.
Conclusion: Recovery is Possible
Sexual addiction is real and it plagues many. It can ruin lives if it’s left untreated. That’s because when someone becomes completely obsessed with all sexual behaviors, those thoughts take over their life. They can’t think about anything else. That’s why taking that first step is key.
The treatment you are undergoing for your addiction is probably twelve steps meetings. They can be face to face, by telephone or online. No matter what option you choose it is important that it is the one best suited for you and your needs to overcome this problem. The most important thing is that – you are not alone. The key to any recovery is that people don’t go through it alone. A support system is a key, and you need to have faith in it.
Beginning of recovery
Every time the person decides to make a change in his/her life, the first thing they will feel is fear. Ant that is completely normal. No one is prepared for that amount of fear, and it can be overwhelming. That’s why the support groups are important. Maybe you realize this, maybe you don’t, but you did build your life around this addiction. Afcorse you are not sure what is going to happen when you stop living around it. You are wondering where all the future excitement will come? Will you succeed at all? Can you feel desirable and sexy without this addiction? These questions are all part of the process you need to go through.
On your first meetings, you will talk about your past, your feelings and opinions from then and from now, and about your uncertain future. You will address your problems and began to recognize their pattern. You will realize what in your life is a problem and what is a symptom of that problem.
At one time you will get a sponsor. That person will be someone who understands what are you going through, someone from your meetings, and this person will be your voice of reason. Your guide. All the mistakes, successes, experience and struggles you need to go through, your sponsor already went, and that will help you when you start to plan your recovery path. Your recovery doesn’t mean you will stop having sex. It just means instead of a high quantity you will have high-quality sex.
Sexual addiction implies an unusually expressed sexual urge or obsession with sexual activity. People with this problem are mentally focused on sexual content and activities, and this type of obsessive thinking impedes them in everyday functioning at work or in the healthy interpersonal relationships.
Sexual addiction is connected with risky behavior. A person enters this type of activity regardless of the consequences. With this behavior, they are hurting their social and business life, and these individuals can emotionally or physically hurt others in their surroundings. Some of these people can be involved in exhibition activities, they can conduct telephone conversations that contain sex messages, or they can rarely force someone to engage in sexual activity. However, it is important to point out that sexual addicts do not necessarily have to be involved in acts of sexual coercion.
The most common forms of behavior that indicate sexual addiction are:
Multiple connections (adultery)
Overuse of pornography
Multiple partners or numerous one-night encounters
Sex without protection
Telephone or Internet sexual activity (“cybersex”)
Prostitution or use of prostitution services
Exhibitionism (e.g., sexted publicity in public places, etc.)
Obsessive dating with partners through personal ads
In general, people who are sexually active addicts experience little or no satisfaction in sexual activity and do not bind emotionally to their sexual partners. The problem with this type of addiction is that it usually leads to feelings of guilt and shame. These people also feel that they have no control over their behavior, despite the negative consequences (financial, health, social and emotional).
Most sex addicts deny having a problem, and the treatment of addiction depends on accepting and recognizing their problem. In many cases, it takes something important from the outside to happen for the problem to be acknowledged – loss of work, divorce, arrest, or health threat. It includes education on healthy sexuality, individual, and family psychotherapy. Many of these disorders treat as an obsessive-compulsive disorder, so they focus on working with obsessive thoughts of sexual content and then on compulsive sexual activity.
The addiction disease is a serious problem for the individual, the family, and society. It is a disease that is chronic, recurring, and whose negative effects on the person lead to, sometimes, a very serious deterioration in the overall functioning of a person. Although there is skepticism among laymen, when the success is in treating the addiction disease, the practice shows that combined psychotherapy with the use of the 12 Step Program provides very good results. It helped numerous people with various addictions.
The 12-step program was designed in Akron, Ohio, on August 11, 1938 (although there were data that it was June 10, 1935, when Dr. Bob had drunk his last drink) by Bill Wilson and Dr. Bob Smith. Bill Wilson, known as Bill W. thanks to his engagement in the Program, was named by Time Magazine as “one of the most important people of the 20th century”. Wilson described his experience of despair, hopelessness, and depression after many years of distress with alcohol, when he was lying in bed with God, and then, in complete desperation, he experienced enlightenment and new hope for help. Then he realized that there must be some spiritual, spiritual principles that help fight alcoholism. He introduced these principles to the Program, together with Dr. Bob Smith, a surgeon. He did not drink until the end of his life in 1971, full 37 years.
Through the Program, a person becomes acquainted with the addiction, he/she admits the problem. Because giving up on addiction leaves an existential emptiness in the person’s life, spiritual elements are introduced which are not strictly religious so that a person can explore and choose the spiritual principles that best suit him/her, and which are achieved through group work. Then a person in a secure environment becomes acquainted with himself, with his faults and virtues for which he assumes responsibility, as he takes responsibility for his relationship with other people, especially to those who he hurt through the phase of addiction. In this way, they gain empathy, altruism, responsibility, and real insight into themselves.
Like every recovery program, during your treatment, you will also have a list of steps that you need to take to get closer to your recovery. Here I listed those steps, so read them carefully and with understanding because everyone is equally important for you.
Acknowledge that you have a problem – admit to yourself that you are powerless over sex and that it is making your life unmanageable.
Believe that with the help of professionals and member of your support group you will get better. God will show you away. Believe in your support system.
You need to turn to your support system and immerse yourself.
Make an overview of your moral actions in your life.
You need to confess to yourself, to others, to your support system all the things you did wrong.
Now, you also need to forgive yourself and keep in mind all the paths that lead you to those wrongdoings.
Become aware of the shortcomings that you have and work your way into reducing and removing them.
Think about all the people that were hurt by your actions. Write a list. Make your amends.
Discuss what your sexual addiction has done not just to you but to those around you. You don’t need just to make amends; you need to realize your actions completely. This step is the hardest one. But keep in mind – you cant make amends to those who will be hurt even more by that.
Continue on your path to a better person. Analyse your actions, thing about moral consequences that you psychologically and socially lived trough. Find your deep reasons for change and commit to it.
Seek guidance, prayer or meditation. You need to overcome the lust you feel.
Soul searching has never completed the process, but when a certain state is achieved, you will be better. Ok even. And then you will be ready to help other people. This step is quite important. You will not just be your voice of reason, but you will be that to someone else also.
Like every recovery program, during your treatment, you will also have a list of steps that you need to take to get closer to your recovery. Here I listed those steps, so read them carefully and with understanding because everyone is equally important for you. Acknowledge that you have a problem – admit to yourself …
The addiction disease is a serious problem for the individual, the family, and society. It is a disease that is chronic, recurring, and whose negative effects on the person lead to, sometimes, a very serious deterioration in the overall functioning of a person. Although there is skepticism among laymen, when the success is in treating …
Sexual addiction implies an unusually expressed sexual urge or obsession with sexual activity. People with this problem are mentally focused on sexual content and activities, and this type of obsessive thinking impedes them in everyday functioning at work or in the healthy interpersonal relationships. Sexual addiction is connected with risky behavior. A person enters this …